Non Compos Mentis
Canadian jurisprudence has just hit an all time low.
This trumps my usual legal defense - not guilty by reason of lycanthropy - which no judge has yet deemed worthy of being an acceptable explanation for my criminal malfeasances.
Which female celebrities control your actions, criminal or otherwise?
One of the most notorious drunk drivers in the Ottawa area has been found not criminally responsible on his latest impaired driving charges because of a mental disorder that makes him believe female celebrities are controlling his actions.Seems the judge bought into his story that Shania Twain lives in his cranium and tells him what to do, so he is not to blame for driving whilst drunk, despite the fact that he killed a woman and her child while DUI a decade ago.
This trumps my usual legal defense - not guilty by reason of lycanthropy - which no judge has yet deemed worthy of being an acceptable explanation for my criminal malfeasances.
Which female celebrities control your actions, criminal or otherwise?
posted by nanuk at 8:31 AM Permafrost
6 Comments:
Belle: I was following the Pamela Anderson story last night on Fark. Even though she's from Vancouver, she is about as welcome here in the debate as a pig at a bris.
Isn't that a freakin' incredible story? He's either guilty as sin or barking mad and should be locked up either way.
At least, that's what Oprah told me. In special code. That only she and I understand.
There have been several young nude actresses that have contolled my mind, at least for about ten minutes...
WoD: That Oprah bit's really good.
TPK: Which mind are you referring to?
Mr. Fabulous - now there's an image! If I say "Howdy", do you get hard à la Pavlov's dog?
Paris Hilton controls my every thought, intention and action.
Rationale: If someone so obviously empty upstairs can become a celebrity, then the possibilities for me are infinite. Thus, I might as well emulate her. Heck, I am her!
*going into seizures*
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